RESPONSES... To "Sexual Sin" Column

From: [email protected]
Here's one for the list: "There is no such thing as innocent flirting." The extra moment of eye contact, the "playful" attention given to someone, treating someone of the opposite sex kinder than you treat your spouse, "acting out" to capture someone's attention - these and other things of a similar nature considered to be "no big deal" are potentially lethal. --Dan Reiland

From: Harry Wood ([email protected])
I have had to face the impact of adultery from the DS's position. The impact far exceeds what most ministers realize. The pronounced undercutting of others confidence in Christ and His message accompanies a moral figure in the life of the messenger. As one young lady expressed to me leaving the church after I had made the "announcement" of the pastors removal, "he lied to us, he did my wedding just three weeks ago and lied to us about the marriage vow, how do I know he didn't also lie to me about Jesus ?" One additional item on your list that I have found to be critical. When our sense of disillusionment in ministry begins to rise be careful... Satan has a way of wanting to "comfort" us in our despair. --Harry F. Wood

From: Jason Makowsky ([email protected])
I would add... "Don't be afraid to approach a person who you suspect is falling or trapped in this temptation and if someone approaches you with a warning, take it as the Holy Spirit, possibly speaking through them to warn you? They might see a future trap that you do not. Pastor's are often naive about such things and lack *accountability* which helps like garlic to ward off evil vampires. Young men and women of the pastorate... Allow your spirits to be teachable and approachable and open to rebuke (accountability) from others... If you become defensive it might already be too late. -- Jason Makowsky

From: Roger Keyzers ([email protected])
1. Yes. 2. Yes. 3. No. 4. No. 5.a) Yes. b) No. 6.a) No. b) Yes. 7. I don't know. My gut reaction is "yes" [to #7 -- you'll get caught] but I was just involved in a conversation last week with a fellow pastor who feels there are probably many brothers who have sinned sexually, and no one knows. Unconfessed sin and no repentance will lead to judgement, as it did in the examples you quoted. Hopefully the judgement we face will not be the same as Ananais & Sapphira. King David's judgement had a life-long effect, as will one's sexual sin. However, confession and repentance lead to the appropriation of God's mercy. How it takes form is God's business, and He makes that clear to the transgressor, and to those who may be involved in the correction and restitution of the transgressor. I just turned 34 - my rules are the same as these "Old timers" when it comes to protecting myself from sexual sin. I surmised at an early age that I could learn from other people's mistakes. Grey hair and wisdom often do go together!

From: Mel Norton ([email protected])
My advice to those under your influence would be: Keep these four facts embedded in your heart and mind - 1) You Are Not Immune 2) Keep Your Spiritual Life Up-To-Date 3) Count The Cost 4) Remember a few moments of pleasure are not worth the utter devastation or even the long road back to recovery of trust. -- Mel Norton

From: Lynn Olibrice ([email protected])
...three easy steps: 1. Take your guidance from the Holy Spirit 2. Get your advice from the Word of God 3. Keep your eyes on Jesus - and nowhere else!! .....then take the rest of the year off to go hiking with the Xers.... -Lynn Olibrice

From: Bill Dawson ([email protected])
I'm not a minister, or a teacher of future ministers. But I've always been impressed by the farsighted rules Billy Graham made for himself 'way back nearly 50 years ago, when his ministry first began to take off. ...he had an ironclad rule: he would never be alone with a female other than his wife. He would not allow a female journalist to interview him in his hotel room, he would not meet for a counseling session with a female alone, he would not go to the home of a friend if the husband was not at home. Surely God led him to these simple rules, for they enabled him to avoid not only impropriety, but even the appearance of it. Call him an old fogey if you wish (I don't), but there's never been a hint of scandal in his ministry. -- Bill Dawson, Jackson, Mississippi

From: "Jonathan B. White" ([email protected])
The old-timers who followed the old-timers advice did just great. The rules and principles you listed are timeless. The great conceit of the boomer generation was always to think that history didn't matter and had nothing to teach us. Our attitude reflected that of Henry Ford, who once said, "History is more or less bunk. The only history I'm interested in is the history we're making right here, right now!" Well, we boomers are sure making a lot of history. I hope someone notices. --Jon White

From: [email protected] (John D Howell)
Tough topic, Keith. Here I sit, I am 23 years old and married. Of the ten most influential people in my spiritual journey, 7 out of ten have fallen bec