Chief-of-sinners
RE: Letter of application for employment
Dear Sirs:
I understand that a position as pastor is open in your church and I would like to apply for it. I have some qualifications for the work, and this letter is an honest review of my past service in the ministry.
I am almost 60 years of age and have been in the ministry for about 25 years. I’ve never lasted very long in any one place, but once I did stay in one church three years. People say my health is not good, but I ignore these kinds of irritants and press on anyway, believing my ill health is actually an advantage to keep my big ego in check.
I’m a strong leader and have usually wound up in charge of everything I’ve ever done. I’ll be frank with you, I’m not always popular, and have been expelled from a number of cities where I ministered. But in every case it was because of a trouble-making opposition I seem to get everywhere I go. I just preach the truth and some people get angry when they hear it.
You may hear about the time when I confronted the highest leader in my denomination to his face -- in front of an entire church body. But he was clearly in the wrong and he backed down. It is that simple: I was right, and he was wrong. I spoke the truth, as I always do. And my truth won the day.
I have seldom been able to work full-time in the ministry, so I have usually had employment outside of my ministry to help support me. In some churches I received no salary at all, and occasionally my job even provided for paying the staff too, though that was not the average situation. Don't the idea though that I worked only with large churches. Most of the churches I've worked with were small, and all of them were able to meet in a house or small hall.
I am a good preacher and well-trained in Bible truths though I often preach longer than people think I should—sometimes for several hours. And you might hear that I have even preached all night at times.
I have had some success at church planting, though some believe my methods are wrong. What I do is enter a new city and find the local religious gathering. I attend there until I get an opportunity to teach or speak, then I show them how their doctrine is wrong and the doctrine I teach is correct. This usually causes a lot of division, and those who side with me generally split off the original group and with that core group I start a new church.
In case you follow up on my references you may discover some questionable events. So I need to give my side on these stories. Yes, it is true that I am guilty of conspiracy to commit murder. But that was before I accepted Christ. And it is true that because of several problems since becoming a Christian, I have been put in jail. But most of these were short stays, though I have just been released from a four-year stint -- two years in Caesarea and the last two here in Rome. But I’ve never given up on my faith—even as a convict. Yes, I have been accused as a trouble-maker but these are false accusations, the real trouble-makers are the Jews who keep following me everywhere I go stirring up trouble against me.
Spiritually I have had an incredible journey. Early in my ministry I had "another world" experience—which I do not even talk about. I heard inexpressible things. And you need not worry about a charismatic influence, for I am a hard-liner