Stages of a Church Fight

Church fights escalate. They start small, but eventually can get whipped into a gigantic and destructive inferno. Sometimes the blaze starts as a fuss between two members. More recently it starts as a difference between a member and the pastor. Like a divorce, it can start with a little spark, but it eventually turns wild and destructive consuming everything in its path. A local church holocaust. What are the stages?

At the lowest stage the member disagrees with the pastor and assumes the pastor doesn't understand. The member goes to explain how he or she feels or believes. Or maybe to explain the history here at this church so the pastor can understand and change. Explaining will resolve the difference. At this stage the member will talk to the pastor or write a letter if the pastor is approachable. If not, they will often telegraph their feelings through someone else.

But explanation sometimes fails to change things. If it does, the member realizes the pastor is not just misinformed, but is apparently just simply wrong. There is a difference of opinion. So the member switches from explanation to persuasion. So does the pastor, launching a training program, promoting a book supporting their position, or hauling off their members to a conference that will support the pastor's stance. If the member feels their mind is equal with the pastor's, an argument may ensue as both try to persuade the other. If the member feels ill equipped to go up against the pastor, they will likely give the pastor a book or article supporting their position. The pastor is trying to persuade the member and the member is trying to persuade