What I Like About Nazarenes

What I Like About Nazarenes

My mother prayed two requests for her sons: 1) That they would not marry a Southerner and 2) that they’d not marry a Nazarene. So I was not brought up to admire Nazarenes, I came by it through life experience. I really like them, honest. Here’s what I admire about Nazarenes:

1. Nazarenes have incredible denominational loyalty. It’s amazing—almost cult-like! When I used to work at my denomination’s headquarters I was jealous of their leaders. When their leaders say jump their people jump. Sure, not as high as they used to—but they jump an inch or so, or at least they pretend they have just jumped a bit ago. The only religious folk I’ve seen with more loyalty than Nazarenes is the Salvation Army. How do they do this? I don’t know but I admire their loyalty.

2. Nazarenes raise strong leaders. Their denomination raises up their little boys to be General Superintendents and College Presidents—or if they can’t make it, they can be a DS. Now they do that with their little girls too. It is amazing how many extra leaders they have running around the church waiting to lead something bigger. This helps us all since Nazarenes can export their excess inventory to other denominations. How do they do this? I bet Wesleyans would elect a Nazarene as General Superintendent next time if it were legal. Actually they have enough Generals and College Presidents to take over the entire holiness movement. I admire this about them.

3. Nazarenes have strong self-esteem. They really believe they’re the best. I recall preaching at the multi-thousand attendance Brown City (Missionary) camp in Michigan years ago where a dozen or so Nazarenes visited each night I preached sort of like “evangelist groupies.” At the end of the week the entire group of Nazarenes arranged to meet with me to announce to me, “Do you know what? You’re a good enough preacher to speak at Nazarene camps?” They did this with straight faces and in total innocence! They were so confident that Nazarene camps were at the top of the food chain they believed they were giving me the ultimate compliment. I admire Nazarenes for their self confidence.

4. Nazarenes talk a lot about holiness and sanctification. I’m not sure they actually believe any differently than Wesleyans or live more holy lives but they sure talk more about these things lots more and I admire them for it.

5. Nazarenes have the best educational system in the family. They are the educational kings in the holiness movement. While I think there may be three better individual schools outside the Nazarene church, there is no doubt in my mind that they have the very best total system of higher education and I admire them for it.

6. Nazarenes used to be more liberal than Wesleyans and now they’re more conservative. I think they were right both times.

7. Nazarenes have the best dressed General Superintendents. All their leaders are snazzy dressers but their Generals are the best of all. Just check a Nazarene General’s shoes the next time you see one. Impressive! Only the Pope can beat Nazarene Generals. Of course that’s why the Pope wears all that fancy paraphernalia—he’s seen a live Nazarene General and knows he’s in trouble.

I like Nazarenes!

So, what do you think about Nazarenes?

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Keith Drury September 12, 2006

www.TuesdayColumn.com

Nazarene links

Church of the Nazarene web site

Unofficial Nazarene discussion board

Wikipedia definition of a Nazarene

Nazarenes: How big are they? ) (Adherents.com site)

Nazarenes: How big are we (HQ site)

Nazarene Top ten type lists