This is an email I received last week from one of my students. I have decided to post it as a column for your responses (with her permission).  What would you say to Christy? –Keith Drury

 

 

Response to….

Is Marriage Worse for Women than Men

By Christina Banker

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about something you posted on your writings last semester (in October-ish) regarding post-graduate, married women losing their drive. 

 

I think this loss of drive and sparkle is a multi-layered issue.

 

1)  Education is an idealistic pursuit that does not necessarily prepare us to fit in the boxes we create. 

 

In many ways my educational experiences prepare me to achieve unrealistic work and future expectations.  As long as I am a student I can achieve and dream and learn new theory. I can guide my own educational experience as I select classes that interest and excite me.  In a sense, I create a bubble of passion around myself.  My world is largely my own and of my own making.  I am mentally stimulated by thoughts regarding areas of intense passion.  The so called "real world" is not the same utopia we now live in.  Suddenly I have jobs that require me to do things I like and don't like.  The theories and ideas I learned and hoped to implement are difficult to impossible to enact.  Few jobs allow for and/or encourage the intense level of growth encouraged, even required in the educational process.   Our majors are tailored to introduce us to and prepare us for a specific job or set of jobs.  The preparation we receive does not always align with the jobs available.  Yes, you must take the good and the bad of a job – but you must be prepared to face this reality post-graduation. 

 

The world is largely made of boxes in which you are expected to fit.  I've already noticed within this very educational institution a staunch opposition to defying the routine.  I have over 175 credit hours in psychology, sociology, education, religion, Christian education, biblical literature, recreation management, music, English, writing, criminology, intercultural studies, business, etc.  More than once I have been questioned regarding my reasoning for enrolling in particular classes. 

 

In fact, in one class (the only class I ever received a mid-term report ) I was told to withdraw as it was not my major and was asked why I was in the class.  No matter what I did, I received B’s and C’s in the class.  I worked hard, memorized every bit of information for the last test and set the curve only to have the prof decide some of the questions were wrong after the individuals in the major complained.  My grade dropped to a C.  After all – as a non-major, I didn’t belong and did not have the comprehensive picture of program. 

 

I had a class in which the prof did not teach according to the course description because this class, although interdisciplinary was required of only one major and that major “didn’t need to understand all the concepts so only that which was pertinent to the major was covered.”  I did not fit the box that professor built for the class.  My perspective is one in which a class, regardless of its make-up is to teach the individuals as much as possible, as thoroughly as possible, about a particular subject.  Likewise, while I believe jobs must be specific and clear in requirements, considerations of the chosen employee’s strengths should be considered – espec