Excerpt for IWU student study in Spiritual Formation/LCE class

—from the book Unveiled Faces by Keith Drury

Discipline of Response

The Disciplines of response

The discipline of response is novel for a book on the spiritual disciplines. It is the “third leg of the stool” that is often overlooked in our spiritual formation. The spiritual discipline of response is managing our reactions to what life brings us—both good and bad. Our character is formed by the many tiny reactions we have to bad things like opposition, suffering, pain, temptation, divorce, enemies, defeat, persecution and how we face the death of a loved one—or our own impending death. Similarly we are changed by how we respond to good things—wealth, power, promotion, favor, opportunity, or success. We do not respond to these things in a single moment—but over time we make hundreds of little responses and they come to form us spiritually. Practicing the disciplines of action and abstinence helps us develop Christian responses, yet responding is a discipline itself. It is more natural to respond to success by attributing it to our own cleverness than to give others the glory—thus it is a discipline. The response may be in what we say, how we act or in the attitudes we develop in our thoughts—but we are responding a thousand times every day. Each of our responses becomes a thread that weaves together the rope of our character. Character is the sum and total of a person's choices. In the spiritual discipline of response we braid into that rope with Christ-like responses to life.

Bad things happen to good people

Practicing the discipline of response develops a habit of using life experiences as the curriculum for spiritual growth. We learn to see both blessings and difficulties as the course outline for our spirituality development. A Christian taking this approach is likely to be shocked at their cancer report just like anyone else. But a Christian practicing this discipline soon begins asking how cancer can make them a better person and even how it might even serve others. They will fight the cancer and pray for healing, but simultaneously they will seek to respond in a Christ-like manner. This is a hard assignment. I can’t be done in a single response but will have to be reinforced hundreds of times in the coming weeks as new oncology reports come and new procedures are tried. This is why it is a discipline—responding to life’s experiences is a repetitive action done habitually as it forms us. Followers of God are not exempt from tragedy. We are, however, able to face them differently. God does not pay his people for their obedience. Christians do not automatically get to skip the difficulties of life. After all, the central event of our faith occurred on a cross. Being a Christian is not about getting an exemption from evil—it is about having the resources to deal with that evil when it comes our way.

God using evil

But we must be careful to not think that God causes these evils. It is a narrow ledge to walk: seeing evil as being used by God yet avoiding seeing evil as caused by Him. God does not send us cancer to make us better people. Cancer is a result of a fallen world and God is at work on earth reversing the effects of the fall, including cancer. Eventually He will triumph. For now, however there is evil in the world and God “allows” it. Since God could stop evil from happening to us yet He doesn’t, at least we know evil is “allowed” for some purpose. God did not prompt Joseph’s brothers to sell him into slavery—Satan did. Yet while the brothers meant it for evil, God was able to use it for good. Likewise God did not prompt Judas to betray Jesus—Satan did. Yet God used even the crucifixion of His Son to redeem us. God can turn evil into good. This is why it is so important to have the right response. When we experience evil we ought to ask, “How can God use this?” but never say, “God sent this to me.” So what are some of the bad things that happen to good people—yet God can use them to make us better people?

Editor: these are so personal I have switched the tense here

Temptation

Are you facing temptation? What sort of temptation? Is the Devil hounding you and you can find no relief? At every corner do you face a new onslaught so powerful you can hardly resist? How will you respond? You can either surrender to the tempter, weakening your will or you can resist temptation and strengthen your will for future battles. Martin Luther once remarked that the best preparation for a minister is summarized in one word: “Temptation.” God uses temptation to strengthen your will. Every time you resist you show your fidelity to God and make resistance in the future easier. Each successful resistance builds the muscle of your will and strengthens your resolve to obey. It is up to you. Temptation brings the opportunity to weaken or strengthen you will. The Christian response to temptation is resistance.

Opposition

Are you doing the right thing yet still someone is opposing you? Have you been doing your best yet been told it isn’t good enough? Perhaps there is a whole I of people opposed to you. They turn your success into failure, your words into jokes and dismiss you and a “featherweight mind.” No matter what you attempt do your opponents turn your accomplishments into dust? How will you respond? You can respond by simply giving up or you could let God use this opposition to develop perseverance in you. Without opposition how can we develop determination? It is up to you. Opposition brings the opportunity to develop perseverance or give up. The Christian response is developing perseverance.

Enemies

Do you have an enemy? Not just “opposition” but perhaps someone out to truly destroy you? How will you respond? You can respond by fighting back and getting even or by letting God use your enemy to develop love in you. Without an enemy how will you develop love? Even the pagans love their friends. A Christian loves her enemy—even prays for them. Christians forgive their enemies—before they’ve been asked to. It is up to you. An enemy brings the opportunity to fight back or to learn love. The Christian response is learning to love.

Rejection

Did your father reject you? Mother? Did you lose a lover who walked away and discarded you like a candy wrapper? Did a group of people reject you and you still sting? How will you respond? You can respond with anger, resentment, and self-depreciation, or let God use your rejection to develop a sweet spirit in you. How is it that the sweetest people often have had the greatest crushing? The crushing lets the sweet scent of Christ escape. Without rejection you are unlikely to develop this sweet spirit. It is up to you. Rejection brings the opportunity for sourness or sweetness. The Christian response to rejection is to identify with Christ’s own rejection allowing the sweetness of the aroma of Christ to escape.

Division

Are you a part of a family or fellowship that seems hopelessly divided? Are your associates at the office or workplace at odds and alienated from each other? How will you respond? You can respond by getting caught up by taking sides in them or God can use that division to help you learn to be a peacemaker. Without conflict we are unlikely to ever develop peacemaking skills. It is up to you. Division and strife bring the opportunity to join in the fray or to learn to be a peacemaker. Which will you choose? The Christian response is to neither join the battle nor stand aloof but to bring the sides together bringing reconciliation.

Injustice

Are you a victim of injustice? Did someone “do you dirty?” Are you an injured party? How will you respond? You can respond by nursing that injury until it grows into a full-blown grudge and turns you into a bitter person, or let God use that terrible injustice to develop a forgiving spirit in your heart. Without experiencing injustice we are unlikely to learn to forgive. It is up to you. Your injury brings a fork in the road: one leading down the blind alley of bitterness, the other leading into the sunshine of forgiveness and grace. The Christian response is to forgive and let God collect such debts.

Suffering

Are you facing suffering? Is your mind constantly pre-occupied with your pain? Do you wonder why others seem to have no pain and face no misery like yours? How will you respond? You can respond by doubting God’s goodness and mercy or you can develop a deeper faith and trust in God. Without suffering we will undoubtedly develop only a moderate trust in God. It is easier to believe God is good when life is good. However, a Christian does that hard thing—proclaiming God’s goodness when life is bad. It is up to you. Suffering brings the opportunity for doubt or faith, for suspicion or trust. The Christian response to suffering lets it build our faith and trust in God’s goodness.

Failure

Have you failed miserably? Did you take a risk but it didn’t pan out? Have you failed in business? Marriage? Life? Have you failed God? How will you respond? You can respond to failure by giving up and running away or let God use your failure to develop greater reliance on Him. Without failure we are unlikely to develop full reliance on God—we will rely on ourselves. The Christian response to failure is greater trust in the Lord

Death

Are you facing death? Do you know your own exit from this life is looming? How will you respond? You can respond by surrendering to doubt and despair or you can make your final days become your ultimate statement of faith. You can be an example of doubt at death’s door or an example of faith. Without facing death we never know for certain the surety of our faith. It is up to you. Facing our own death is the final exam of faith. The Christian response to death is to recognize it has no permanent sting—for we have eternal life.

Tragedy

Have you lost a parent or spouse in a tragic accident? A son or daughter? Was it some tragedy you can’t understand? How can this happen to you? Has life been unfair” Do you start every morning mourning your loss? Is this tragedy your last thought at night as you drift off to sleep? Is your tragedy so prominent that it almost defines who you are? How will you respond? You can respond in doubt and misgivings about God leading eventually to rejecting God, or you can allow God to sooth the agony of tragedy in your life extracting from you a tenderness for others who are in pain. We develop tenderness for others as we process our own pain. It is up to you. Personal tragedy brings a choice of heading down the road to despair or choosing to let God develop in us a greater tenderness. The Christian response is to let God grow in us a new tenderness of spirit.

Good things also happen to good people

We tend to think of bad experiences being more powerful in shaping us than good ones. At least we hear more testimonies to that sort of shaping. Yet our blessings offer an equal opportunity to respond in a way that forms us spiritually. In fact without experiencing some blessings we will never develop some Christ-like qualities.

Power

Do you have power over others? Are you a boss? Can you fire someone? Do you teach and have the power of grades in your hand? Are you a parent? How will you respond if you have this sort of power? You can exercise your power like a despot or temper the power with mercy. Without having power we may never learn true meekness or never exercise mercy. It takes power to be meek or merciful. The Christian response to power is to learn mercy, and meekness.

Success

Do others consider you successful? Do you think so too? Do you “have it made?” How will you respond? Will you take credit for your success and assume those less successful are simply lazy stupid or unmotivated? Or will you learn humility and gratefulness? The blessing of success can teach you how to be humble and give others credit for how they helped you. Or it can provide an opportunity to take credit yourself. It is your choice. Success can make you an arrogant self-reliant person who judges everyone else deficient. Or it can make you a more humble and grateful person. Without success we Christians may never learn humility, gratefulness and compassion as fully as we might learn it with success.

Supernatural touch

Have you experienced a miraculous spiritual experience from God? Has He healed you, given you impressive spiritual gifts or delivered you from some bondage? How will you respond? You could respond in spiritual pride and condemnation of others who are so spiritually deficient that do not have the level of spirituality that you do. Or you can respond the Christian way—by giving credit to God alone and humbly treating others with dignity and respect. The choice is yours.

Wealth

Are you rich? Certainly there are others richer, but how many are poorer than you? Does your annual income place you in the top 20 % of the world’s people? If so you have a choice. You can respond to this blessing by hording your treasure or constantly investing it to build “bigger barns” or you can open your hand and let your blessing of wealth serve others. The choice is yours.

Health

Sickness and suffering can be a means of growth if we respond properly, but so can health. Are you healthy? Will you learn daily gratitude to God and others for your life’s vigor or will you forget this discipline and never learn to value health until you lose it? The choice is yours. Every day.

The all day discipline

Many of the disciplines of action and abstinence can be practiced at a set time. We can schedule our devotions at 6:00 AM or set a day of fasting and solitude this Saturday. The discipline of response must be practiced all day long. Wrong or right attitudes are not developed in an instant—they are the product of thinking thoughts repeatedly over days, weeks and even years. Preventing wrong attitudes from developing takes a repeated discipline of laying down tracks for right thought patterns. The discipline of response requires constant effort, daily effort, even moment-by-moment effort. However in learning to discipline our response to what life brings us—good and bad—we may be trained to react as Christ would respond and be formed into His image.

How to start practicing this discipline.

Define your bad experiences. What “bad thing” do you now face? Admit it, even if it only seems like “a little thing” compared to the issues above. Ask, “If God planned to use bad things in my life to make me better—what are those bad things?” Most Christians can at least think of one item in their life that is painful, difficult or at least an irritant.
Define your blessings. What blessings and opportunities have you received? What are the good things in your life that also must be responded to rightly to help you become more Christ-like? Both these lists are ideal for writing in your journal.
Describe the choice. For each difficulty and blessing we face a choice. Describe this fork—the two roads of response–one leading away from Christ, the other toward Christ.
Choose to choose right. Decide to decide to make the many individual choices of response to your difficulties and blessings the right way. All these little decisions is what makes you who you are—but the big initial one gets you started on the path to using life’s good and bad things to make us better.
Get accountability. The discipline of response is never a one-time event. It is on-going. Get someone to check up on you frequently and monitor your success in learning to see both blessings and difficulty as a means of grace and sanctification.

Now, what about you? What are your specific plans to practice this discipline this week?

Helps for teaching and leading your class or small group through this chapter are located at the back of this book.