Family
traditions: Advent-Christmas, Easter
Making
Family Traditions
Keith & Sharon Drury
Christians have done an admirable job
of cooperative training of our children.
We have banded together to organize Sunday schools, Vacation Bible Schools,
midweek clubs, membership classes, camps, and Bible clubs. However, in our keenness to adopt the
schooling model for Christian education, we often overlook the great value
of non-formal means of passing on the faith.
The schooling/classroom method is
unsurpassed in its ability to cram facts into the heads of students. Non-formal methods are better at reaching
the heart and values of a student. It is out of the heart and values that a
Christian pattern for daily living emerges.
The best of non-formal training of children resides in the family
and small church. When was the last
time you heard of parents actually planning how they would teach their
children? “More is caught than
taught" is true, especially when it comes to your children and
grandchildren. You already have a
myriad of family traditions in your home—you do this without planning. However, becoming a bit more intentional
will make your family traditions even better.
The idea of teaching through home traditions is not new. It has its roots in Old Testament Jewish
religious education. While there were
systematic synagogue schools, much of the values were passed on in the family traditions surrounding the
three great feasts of the year, Passover, Pentecost, and Tabernacles. This education was not classroom-oriented,
but event-oriented, looking back to a real event in history as the
family appropriated its meaning for the present. The Jewish pattern is a similar kind of combination family-church
celebration that Christian homes can establish.
In this essay we will give special attention to the two great
celebration seasons of the Christian year:
Advent-Christmas and Lent-Easter.
The “church year” begins on November 30, St Andrew’s day (because
he is considered the first apostle).
The Sunday closest to this feast is then the beginning of Advent (“four
Sundays before Dec 25th” works too). Christmas is also the greatest secular feast of the year so this
is a good time to begin being more intentional.
First recognize the traditions you already have. Most parents are surprised at how many
traditions they already have established when they start writing them down. Older parents often marvel to hear their
grown-up children saying, "In my family we always used to..." The older parents blush because they don’t
recall being that consistent doing that every single year. But it does not take that much repetition
too make a tradition. So, how to celebrate Advent?
· One family we know uses an advent
wreath on their dining room table, complete with four candles. Each Sunday night after church they invite a
group of friends of all ages to their house for a time of fellowship and
sharing. Before a snack, all gather in
a circle around the table, sing carols, share some thoughts on what Christmas
means to them. Then they light one of
the candles.
· Another family, with younger children,
begins their Advent season on Thanksgiving Day by making a paper chain
representing the days between then and Christmas. After dinner each day one child removes a link off the chain and
part of the Christmas story is told.
The children's excitement grows as the length of the chain shrinks. This
same family heightens the celebration the last seven days by allowing each
child to open an inexpensive gift after the paper link is removed, reminding
the children of God's gift to us.
· Another family dresses up in costumes and acts
out the Christmas story each year on Christmas eve.
· Still another family sings carols
for all their neighbors, then leaves a small box of cookies.
· Yet another family we know sets aside a special
shopping Saturday which begins by the reading of the Bible story of the
Magi's gifts and an explanation of the idea of gift-giving at Christmas. Then the entire family drives to a large nearby
city for a shopping day focused on giving.
Sure, few families can establish all of these traditions, but each
family can begin some practices which reflect Christian values during
this great season of the year. What does
your family do?
The second great event in the Christian year is Easter and the
period of Lent preceding it. Here we focus
on the life, ministry, death, and final triumph of our Lord over the tomb. Most Protestants have fled Roman Catholic
tradition so far they observe only the final three days of this season. But that ignores the importance of teaching
children through a season of learning experiences.
While most families have some sort of Christmas traditions in
effect, many good Christian Families have no traditions in place for Easter
other than dressing up for church and several secular traditions. Who knows,
maybe it is because we reject the central notion of penance and self-denial of
the 40 days preceding the happy day of Easter.
Many Protestants do not even celebrate “Good Friday” but hurry up to the
“happy day” of Easter Sunday in their celebrations.
Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and continues for six weeks to Holy
Week. In the northern hemisphere it is
a time of long evenings and the impending arrival of spring—an ideal time for
special family traditions
· One family we know adopts the most common
Lenten practice—giving up something as a self-denial statement. They encourage each person in the family to
select something to deny themselves of during this season. These are announced at the dinner table on
Ash Wednesday, preceded by a meditation on the suffering experienced by Christ
and the earliest Christians.
· Another family decides as a family what
to deny themselves of—with everybody voting. One year this family decided to have only a small snack for
Friday dinners and give the money saved to missions.
· Still another family we know decided to
use this period as a time to “fast” their television—they kept it
turned of for the entire season of Lent and concentrated on more family
activities each evening.
· Another family with small children always
begins watering an amaryllis bulbs on Ash Wednesday –one for each
member of the family, then they watch them grow throughout the Lenten period.
· Still another family gets together with
their children each evening for a bedtime “service” focused on the final year of Jesus’ ministry,
making a symbol or picture for various events.
They hang these on the wall and review them each day as a litany of
Jesus’ life.
· Other families focus especially on “Great
Week” or “Holy Week” by retelling the activities of the last week of Jesus'
life. The Passion story is read
on Good Friday at noon and they all observe a period of silence from noon to
three o’clock if there is no church service to attend at that time.
· For most families the grand conclusion to
this season is Easter Sunday. One
family arises well before dawn to attend an Easter pageant each
year at 5 a.m.
· It is quite common for families to attend
a sunrise service each year.
Some plan their own family sunrise service to celebrate this day.
· Still others invite a second family to Easter
breakfast before attending the Easter morning service together.
Families who practice some sort of self-denial during the Lenten
season seem to make the actual Easter Day celebration an even bigger event. So what does your family do?
Of course
there are other times to develop family traditions too. Some families make each child's birthday a
great affair -- measuring height, having a party, and giving gifts. One family uses each birthday as a time to
show all the family slides as the children recall the happy times the family
has experienced together.
· Thanksgiving. Though a secular holiday, most modern
Christians have co-opted Abraham Lincoln’s Thanksgiving and made it a religious
holiday. One family always goes around the table before the meal, each member
sharing the ten things for which they are most thankful. A minister's family has their children and
grandchildren back home on Thanksgiving when, along with other activities of
the day, the family takes the sacrament of Communion together. Another family takes a day for grocery
shopping, filling their basket with all of their favorite items—then they deliver
these groceries to a needy family.
· Passover. A few Christian families have developed Christian rituals which
relate to some of the Old Testament celebrations. One converted Jewish family celebrates Passover with a newly
written Christian ritual.
· Tabernacles. One family plans a "camp out"
to be done as a parallel to the Old Testament Tabernacles celebration. They review the history of the Israelites in
the open air.
· Regular rituals. Besides the "Big Day" or
"Big Season" traditions, parents and grandparents should remember that
many other rituals and traditions in the home are constantly teaching their
children. Practices like devotions,
or the nightly story time are such rituals. A big Sunday dinner, or saying
grace before meals is a family tradition. Asking each week, "What did you learn in church
is a great tradition (at least until they are twelve years old!) Bowing your heads in prayer before
taking a trip in the car is a Christian ritual. All these contribute to
the development of a Christian atmosphere in the family and make it clear this
is not a secular home.
So what about you? What are the rituals and traditions
that make your home Christian? Send
them so we can your ideas to the above list:
Respond to: Tuesday@indwes.edu
So what do you think?
To contribute to the thinking on this issue
e-mail your response to Tuesday@indwes.edu
Other "Thinking Drafts" and writing by Keith Drury -- http://www.indwes.edu/tuesday